All It Took To Convince Me to Go to Law School Was a Juarez Car Bombing
So I know I haven’t updated this as much as I should have since getting back from North Africa, but the process of readjusting to life as usual has been a little choppy. It still trips me out that I have to wear seatbelts and that I can’t pee wherever I want anymore. Ahh, Tunisia. How I miss you. Anyways, here’s a little update on how things are going out here in my little corner of Texas.
There was a car bombing in Ciudad Juarez a couple of days ago. Yes. A *car bomb*. Baghdad-style (literally). Like a fifteen minute drive from where I live. The boss of La Linea cartel ordered it as retribution against the cops for the arrest of a Linea leader. If there was any doubt in my mind that I should be getting the hell out of El Paso and going to law school, that was pretty much the one thing that could convince me more than future career prospects, genuine intellectual interest in law, or the desire to not live at home anymore.
ME: “Well, on the one hand, I could be moving to a metropolitan city with a lot of hot, single people and getting my education, or I could stay here in El Paso and seguir siendo unemployed. Man, but I really don’t want to leave, I grew up here! Wait, what’s that?”
- “Ah. I see. *Calls up Southwest Airlines* Hello, Southwest? Yes, GET ME ON A PLANE TO D.C. RIGHT NOW!!!! SWEET GOD, I’LL DO ANYTHING! I’LL EVEN FLY THROUGH CHIGAGO IF I HAVE TO!!!!”
Now, I’ve had a few people claim that I’m being ridiculous about all this and that I’m an El Paso hater for wanting to leave. But after hearing about a CAR BOMBING in the El Paso-Juarez metroplex, I told myself, “Man. I’m glad I’m getting out of here.” And for those of you who buy into the El Paso Police Department’s bullshit propaganda that El Paso’s still safe and that there hasn’t been any spillover…uh, what about that kidnapping/murder in Horizon City where all the people just *happened* to have drug connections? Or the fact that the U.S. consulate worker who died in a March shooting was allegedly assassinated by one cartel for illegally providing American visas to members of another? Or the fact that “stray bullets from Mexico” just *happened* to hit City Hall?
My critics would say at this point, “stop being a pussy, bro! El Paso’s great, we’re one of the safest cities in the U.S. and there’s nothing to worry about. I mean, Juarez is TEN MINUTES AWAY, fool! It’s not like El Chapo’s in your backyard with a rocket launcher. And look at these pictures. It’s really not that bad!”
CRITICS: See? The guy who called out the hit on the consulate worker is safely in Stormtrooper custody! Nothing scary going on here!
CRITICS: See, fool? The Mexican military has this whole thing *under control*. They're even pointing their guns in the same direction, kind of! Chale!
CRITICS: Look how friendly those Juarez police officers are! And it's not like they're covering their faces because they're afriad the cartel will identify and kill them. They just really like looking like badasses!
Anyways, the point to this whole story being, I’m all excited to be moving to safety in D.C. for law school, far away from the border where nothing scary happens…and then there’s an earthquake. Figures.
(NOTE TO READER: I know that this is supposed to be a *law* blog about my legal experiences and opinions and whatnot, but in my defense 1) this did tie into law school tangentially, sort of, 2) I work in immigration law, so this is somewhat relevant to what I work with, and 3) I swear to baby Jesus that I will eventually write about law or legal stuff and not just on the drug war.)
Also, as a tribute to Africa, and maybe to lift the mood a little, I’m posting Shakira’s Waka-Waka. I’m in a post-World Cup slump. And Shakira always makes me feel better. In the words of YouTube poster artdiabolo: “YA ES EL MAS VISTO DE LA HISTORIA –THE NEW TOP ONE OF YOUTUBE HISTORY — FUCK U JUSTIN BIEBER !!!! ”
Fuck you, indeed.
Confessions of an Aztec Law Student 