All It Took To Convince Me to Go to Law School Was a Juarez Car Bombing
So I know I haven’t updated this as much as I should have since getting back from North Africa, but the process of readjusting to life as usual has been a little choppy. It still trips me out that I have to wear seatbelts and that I can’t pee wherever I want anymore. Ahh, Tunisia. How I miss you. Anyways, here’s a little update on how things are going out here in my little corner of Texas.
There was a car bombing in Ciudad Juarez a couple of days ago. Yes. A *car bomb*. Baghdad-style (literally). Like a fifteen minute drive from where I live. The boss of La Linea cartel ordered it as retribution against the cops for the arrest of a Linea leader. If there was any doubt in my mind that I should be getting the hell out of El Paso and going to law school, that was pretty much the one thing that could convince me more than future career prospects, genuine intellectual interest in law, or the desire to not live at home anymore.
ME: “Well, on the one hand, I could be moving to a metropolitan city with a lot of hot, single people and getting my education, or I could stay here in El Paso and seguir siendo unemployed. Man, but I really don’t want to leave, I grew up here! Wait, what’s that?”
- “Ah. I see. *Calls up Southwest Airlines* Hello, Southwest? Yes, GET ME ON A PLANE TO D.C. RIGHT NOW!!!! SWEET GOD, I’LL DO ANYTHING! I’LL EVEN FLY THROUGH CHIGAGO IF I HAVE TO!!!!”
Now, I’ve had a few people claim that I’m being ridiculous about all this and that I’m an El Paso hater for wanting to leave. But after hearing about a CAR BOMBING in the El Paso-Juarez metroplex, I told myself, “Man. I’m glad I’m getting out of here.” And for those of you who buy into the El Paso Police Department’s bullshit propaganda that El Paso’s still safe and that there hasn’t been any spillover…uh, what about that kidnapping/murder in Horizon City where all the people just *happened* to have drug connections? Or the fact that the U.S. consulate worker who died in a March shooting was allegedly assassinated by one cartel for illegally providing American visas to members of another? Or the fact that “stray bullets from Mexico” just *happened* to hit City Hall?
My critics would say at this point, “stop being a pussy, bro! El Paso’s great, we’re one of the safest cities in the U.S. and there’s nothing to worry about. I mean, Juarez is TEN MINUTES AWAY, fool! It’s not like El Chapo’s in your backyard with a rocket launcher. And look at these pictures. It’s really not that bad!”
CRITICS: See? The guy who called out the hit on the consulate worker is safely in Stormtrooper custody! Nothing scary going on here!
CRITICS: See, fool? The Mexican military has this whole thing *under control*. They're even pointing their guns in the same direction, kind of! Chale!
CRITICS: Look how friendly those Juarez police officers are! And it's not like they're covering their faces because they're afriad the cartel will identify and kill them. They just really like looking like badasses!
Anyways, the point to this whole story being, I’m all excited to be moving to safety in D.C. for law school, far away from the border where nothing scary happens…and then there’s an earthquake. Figures.
(NOTE TO READER: I know that this is supposed to be a *law* blog about my legal experiences and opinions and whatnot, but in my defense 1) this did tie into law school tangentially, sort of, 2) I work in immigration law, so this is somewhat relevant to what I work with, and 3) I swear to baby Jesus that I will eventually write about law or legal stuff and not just on the drug war.)
Also, as a tribute to Africa, and maybe to lift the mood a little, I’m posting Shakira’s Waka-Waka. I’m in a post-World Cup slump. And Shakira always makes me feel better. In the words of YouTube poster artdiabolo: “YA ES EL MAS VISTO DE LA HISTORIA –THE NEW TOP ONE OF YOUTUBE HISTORY — FUCK U JUSTIN BIEBER !!!! ”
Fuck you, indeed.
Why Moving Troops to the Border is a Stupid, Impotent Gesture
So President Obama decided to pull yet another page out of the George W. Bush playbook and deploy 1,200 National Guard soldiers to the U.S. Mexico border. (Hey Repubs! Why are you trying so hard to get Obama kicked out? The darling of the Democratic Party is pushing *your* agenda *for you*. That seems like win, guys.) For those of you who would brush this off and say, “but it’s the National Guard, it’s not like it’s the Marines,” I defy you to watch this video and not be impressed by what the National Guard can do.
Not even kidding. When I first saw this video in the movie theater, I yelled out “Fuck Yeah! AMERICA!!” Ask my friend B. Who is an Asian immigrant.
Full disclosure: I have close friends in the military. I respect the armed forces, I grew up in an Army town, I like guns (albeit with regulation), I’m thinking about Air Force JAG after law school, and when it comes to national security, I’m more hawk than dove. And I say this will all due respect — the National Guard presence is wholly unnecessary and an ineffectual waste of money.
This weekend I was at a political fundraiser in Albuquerque for New Mexico gubernatorial candidate Diane Denish. While I’m not a New Mexico registered voter, she made an excellent point about this whole debate: illegal immigration and border security are two separate issues. Illegal immigration deals with mostly benign people coming into the U.S. looking for work that can easily be deported. Border security deals with the fact that Mexico is on the cusp of state failure and that armed narco-terrorist groups that can kill people have paramilitary wings a la Blackwater and pirate patrols on the Texan lakes.
Deploying these troops conflates the two issues. The troops that have been deployed are not there for border security. They are there to “gather intelligence” on who crosses the desert. That would be great for border security, except most of the people who cross the desert are disoriented, dehydrated Mexicans looking to mow lawns and re-tile houses. Not huge security threats. That problem can be solved legislatively. (Also, just FYI, we have a group that gathers intel on the border. It’s called the Border Patrol. Fund it right so that you don’t have to cut 9,790 planned new agents and we wouldn’t have this problem.)
Meanwhile, the cartels get tons of cocaine across the border *legally* every year at ports-of-entry because our bridges are grossly understaffed and lack the technology to do check most cars for drugs. Even when they do, sometimes the cartel pays people to look the other way. They have access to top-secret U.S. intelligence reports. Also, the guns the cartel uses? They’re illegal in Mexico. They get them from us, because the Founding Fathers wanted us to go deer-hunting with AKs without background checks.
And if we’re hoping that this troop movement keeps the cartel violence on Mexican soil, too late, because they’re already active on U.S. soil. Hell, the cartels have ties in Sierra Leone and use West Africa as a base to sell drugs to Europe, and there are worries that Al Qaeda could be cooperating with Latin American cartels and establishing connections to smuggle drugs across the Sahara.
Anyone starting to see why this border deployment is pointless? We are spending $500 million to have U.S. soldiers point their guns at Mexican viejitas while the cartel funnels money from Europe and uses it to turn Ciudad Juarez — a city that literally abuts our southern border — into the murder capital of the world. It makes Baghdad look like Disneyland. We are wasting our time demonizing the “good” Mexicans while letting the “bad” Mexicans slip past our radar. If Obama — or anyone else — was serious about border security, this is what they should do:
- Recall the troops and give that $500 million to somebody else. Literally, anyone else. DEA could use it to expand their West Africa offices and cut off cartel funding from Europe. FBI could use it to disrupt the cartel’s U.S. distribution network in all 50 states. Even Border Patrol could use it to keep out illegal immigrants, if that’s what you really want. But $500 million wasted on political theater to impress Republicans who will hate you no matter what is stupid. Make real changes.
- Law-enforcement needs to stop going after low-level users and target dealers more aggressively. Cut plea deals or grant immunity to low-level cooperative smugglers in order to get them to rat out their bosses. And keep people like Barrio Azteca from arranging hits from inside prisons. Cut off their communications with the outside world and with each other.
- Seriously implement the suggestions made by the 9/11 Commission. That whole idea about federal agencies *talking* to each other? That’s brilliant. I want more of that.
- Require people to register their AK-47s or any other automatic rifles, if not ban them completely. Seriously, what private citizen needs an AK? We don’t live in Grand Theft Auto and it’s not like the deer you’re hunting is packing heat.
- Do something about drugs. U.S. drug money helps fund Mexico’s instability. A lot of people say that legalizing marijuana will cripple the cartels financially. I don’t believe that, since the cartels get most of their money from coke, and it upsets me when people use death as a way to forward a pro-marijuana agenda. That being said, maybe I’m wrong, and something needs to change. Get smart people to work on that.
And as for the whole illegal immigrant thing, that can be fixed when the Republicans decide to stop obstructing immigration reform just to watch Obama fail during the next election. Seriously guys, you’re shooting yourself in the foot by riling up the Tea Partyers and trying to get Palin into office. Nixon was more of a left-wing socialist than Obama. You have someone smart who’s willing to compromise his ideals and continue Bush policies to make you happy. GO WITH IT! And fix some of the problems you’ve started.
*Breathes*
Kthxbai.
Confessions of an Aztec Law Student 