Why Arizona’s New Immigration Law Sucks (Legally Speaking)
So tomorrow is a national day of protest against Arizona’s stupid-ass new law, with dozens of cities scheduled to participate. Our local event out here in Texas is scheduled to be held right in front of Republican Party headquarters. For a split-second, I actually considered going to the protest dressed in a suit, lying and telling a reporter that I was a young Republican who wanted to comment about the protest, and then launching into reasons the bill was stupid.
But then I realized there actually *is* Republican opposition to this bill. A *lot* of it: Lindsey Graham, John Cornyn, Rick Perry, Darth Vader Karl Rove. And Shakira (but she’s not Republican. She’s just hot.) So that wouldn’t be as meta-funny as I would have liked it to be.
Instead, I decided to do something a little bit different. Unlike a lot of the so-called “journalists” reporting on this issues, I sat down and read the bill. You can read it too, it’s available online. The new part is in blue. While the obvious issue of racial profiling has been discussed ad naseum, I feel there are other elements of the bill that haven’t been talked about yet but that should be equally concerning.
I’ve identified six reasons why I object to this law. If you are really interested in why this law sucks, read more after the break.
(DISCLAIMER: I’m not a lawyer, nor am I a law student yet. I’ve never taken a law course. But I can read. So…yeah. *cricket* If anyone sees any errors in this, let me know, so that I can correct them. Also, I refrained from over-sourcing the law, but if people actually want to know where I pulled these things out of, I can go back and name them section by section. I posted a link to the law, so you all can read it for yourselves.)
Hatred of Arizona’s Dumb New Law Can Bring Us All Together
So Arizona passed their crazy-ass immigration law, and I’m actually surprised at how upset I’ve gotten over this. Granted, I slave my life away at work for a pro-immigrant nonprofit, so indignant outrage is pretty much par for the course. But this law made my constitutional Spidey sense tingle.
“Wait,” I told myself. “That sounds…not right.”
Turns out it’s not right on like five different grounds. I was going to outline them myself, but MALDEF‘s President/General Counsel/Actual Lawyer Thomas Saenz sent Governor Jan Brewer a letter pretty much outlining all the ways this law craps on the Constitution (PDF). (As an aside, when the governor signed the law, MALDEF released a statement “condemning” her, which made me giggle since it sounded like an angry Mexican fatwa. What are we condemning her to? Death? Shame? Community service? Stop with the angry press releases and letters laced with legal mumbo-jumbo. Just file a lawsuit and let a rational human being a judge decide.)
You know what’s really fucked up about all this, though? KARL ROVE AGREES WITH MALDEF! Karl Rove, dark lord of the Republican Party, thinks the Constitutionality of this law is iffy. Good God, what is going *on* in this country? Orale. Thomas Saenz, Karl Rove, John Cornyn, and I all AGREE on something. Hell, even Lindsey Graham was on board with this whole comprehensive immigration reform thing until he backed out. To be fair though, that *might* just have been because he was *allegedly* being blackmailed by the Democrats for *allegedly* being a giant, wrist-flitting homosexual, and his conservative constituents don’t take kindly to them-there homoseks-yals. *Opens can of Bud*
Am I naive for believing that this terrible law, which was probably written in crayon, might be the thing that brings us together as a nation?
Yes. Yes I am.
On an unrelated note, the anger I’m experiencing also makes me afraid — not for an impending race war or constitutional crisis, but that this is a sign I’m going to end up in civil rights litigation. Noooooo. I’m supposed to be rich!
Confessions of an Aztec Law Student 