Salt, Rage, and Getting Certified
So it’s been a while since I’ve issued an angry/neurotic dispatch. I should probably update this blog, and since there’s a lot of territory to cover, I’m breaking this up into several parts.
Part #1: If you are hypertensive, stay away from Salt — because all the awesome will send you into heart failure
Just saw Salt today, and all I can say is *damn*. I can’t WAIT to move to DC, especially if I get to see badass stuff like spies blowing stuff on the Beltway *every day*! New motivation tool for DC law students: if you ever think your life is a meaningless hell, just imagine that you’re an extra in an Angelina Jolie movie about spies. If that doesn’t work, then just drink.
Part #2: Standard subversive angry Mexican stuff
A judge issued an injunction blocking the most controversial parts of Arizona’s “driving while brown” law until the federal government has a chance to crap all over this deformed moon-calf of a law in court sue Arizona. Chances are this will go to the Supreme Court, the justices will pistol-whip Arizona with a good ol’ fashioned dose of federalism, and then we can all go back to watching the president talk about Snooki and Justin Bieber. Nothing to see here, folks.
By the way, we shut down our consulate in Ciudad Juarez over “security concerns”. You know, the same way we shut down our embassy in Yemen every now and then over “security concerns.” No biggie. Nothing to worry about. It’s not like there’s a war being partially fomented by bad U.S. policy to our south. Besides, if things get bad, we got Big Bubba and his merry band of neo-Nazis on riding mowers protecting our border by shooting at dehydrated old ladies crossing the desert in Arizona.
I feel safer already...
EDIT: I forgot to mention, the Juarez consulate is apparently the only consulate in Mexico that does immigrant visas. So now that Mexicans literally can’t get visas…yeah. Bad news bears.
Part #3: Actual legal work thingy
My case is going really well, but I am stressing a little because I have to get all my material in to my boss before I leave. Also, at her behest, we’re gunning to get me signed on as co-counsel to argue in court…even though I’ve never taken an actual legal course in my life. (And before I get any questions, yes, as long as I’m a law student, I can represent people in immigration court.)
At first I was kind of hesistant about the idea, because although it’s not like I’m some dumbass wino off the street who writes motions in crayon, I’m still two weeks away from being a 1L (which is technically the same thing as being a wino, from what I’m told). Although my boss has reassured me that this really is a good idea and that I’ll do fine, and even though I’ve been working in immigration law for a year and I know my stuff, psychologically I feel unprepared. But whatevz, I’ll man up. Got the green light from one of the deans at my school and now all I have to do is get the judge to sign off and hope I don’t make an ass out of myself in court. (To be fair though, I’m El Pasoan. It’s in my blood. In fact, if I’m *not* making an ass out of myself in front of an officer of the court, it’s a sign that there’s probably something wrong.)
Part #4: Death to fax machines!
I finally got my immunization records in, hopefully without having spammed the Student Health Center. Also, Dante was wrong. Satan doesn’t live trapped in a block of ice in the bowels of Hell. He lives in the fax machine at Kinko’s.
Part #5: The move
I officially leave the Sun City on August 15. I am excited, anxious, and terrified. Not helping the anxiety is that fact that my moving-in is also doubling as an impromptu family vacation. So not only must I arrange my apartment and awkardly try to befriend my neighbors, I also have to do that while balancing a mother who wants to take a guided tour of every monument with a teenage brother who despises anything “touristy.” Also, for future reference, I turn 22 the day before classes start. I’m getting old.
Confessions of an Aztec Law Student 